Parenting and Puppies

When I was in eigth grade, I was a pudgy, hormonal pain in the butt. This was taken at my sixth grade birthday party. Not really.

My sisters and parents will back me up on this. Trust me.

On a day at the end of that year of school when I didn’t have finals, I was not studying. Not surprising. Instead, my friends Dylan, Jorey, and Alex went down to the Canadaway Creek and goofed off. This still sounds like a good way to spend a day off to me.

While we were down at the creek, we started throwing stuff at each other. Why? Who cares. We were middle school boys. Throwing stuff at each other is pretty much what you do.

I don’t recommend lobbing a seven foot long, four inch round piece of hardwood someone's head, though. That’s what Dylan did to me.

He hit me right under my right eye, and gave me an honest-to-goodness concussion. My otherwise kind and sympathetic mother was not terribly impressed, and I was left at home to convalesce by myself.

I was lying in my room, feeling awful, when I heard the phone ring. The nearest phone was in my parents room, and I hustled in there in an attempt to answer the phone.

I never made it.

Instead, I vomited, lavishly and with great enthusiasm, onto my parents bed, which did not have any sheets on it. After I finished, I had the decency to call my mom (at work) and tell her that I “barfed all over your bed.”

Why do I tell this story?

Chopper Reed Brautigam, the newest Ornery Dog, has spent every night of the past three weeks snuggling with me all night long. He does this with great aplomb, and some might say downright flair. I’ve woken up with his head on top of mine. Seriously.

There haven’t been any problems with this setup, except when he burrows under the covers and wakes me up with his hot puppy breath. All in all, a pretty good deal for everyone. (Until he weighs 75 lbs, but that’s a long way off.)

Last night, at 2 am, I put my arm under Chopper’s sleeping belly to scoot him over on the bed. I wasn’t awake.

That is, I wasn’t awake until my arm hit the huge, and still warm, puddle of pee on the bed.

He is sleeping in his crate from now on.

This kind of thing is why people have said that puppies are good training for babies. Just like babies, puppies have accidents. They pee at inopportune times. They get worms. They poop in the house. They want to eat stuff that is poisonous. They gnaw through laptop power cords.

Maybe some of those things are only done by puppies, but I wouldn’t put any of those activities past Baby Ben.

I am looking forward to seeing the havoc the little one wreaks as a toddler, and I’m looking forward to loving the little grubber as a newborn.

Countdown to due date: 14 days.