On Becoming "Ben-Wise"

Before Ben was born I knew everything.  I read the books on baby sleep and felt like I was ready to conquer the task.  My child would be a sleeper. Andrew and I both planned for him to be sleeping through the night when he was four months old so that Andrew would be able to study for the bar exam uninterrupted.

But then, Ben was born.

I love to sleep.  Even before I had a baby, going to bed past 10 o'clock was rare.  I've always enjoyed waking up early to exercise, catching a cat-nap after work and heading to bed early to do it the next day.  I never realized how tired I would be once my perfect little schedule was interrupted for what felt like forever.

In the hospital right after Ben was born, I remember nursing and finding him wanting more to eat sooner than the 2 hour mark I was told by one book I should wait to arrive.  I couldn't stand to hear him cry and therefore, the mommy buffet opened and my relationship with "on-demand" feeding began.

According to some experts we did everything wrong.  I fed Ben whenever he looked hungry (and if you all remember how big he was, he looked hungry all the time.)  I let him cluster feed in the evenings after I returned from work and (take a deep breath) I nursed him to sleep.

When Ben wasn't sleeping "through the night" by six months, Andrew and I were both frustrated and those around us were happy to give us advice.  "Let him cry it out," "Give him a pacifier," "Does he have a comfort object,"  "What is his schedule like?" "Put him to bed earlier."  "Co-sleep?"

We tried everything.

Crying it out--never worked--especially not in the middle of the night.  There were nights he would wake up, fuss and go back to sleep but there were nights he would wake up and wail away like someone was pulling out his toe-nails one by one.  It became easier for us to go in, attend to his needs and put him back to sleep than to listen to him cry for hours.

Pacifier?-- Ben spit pacifiers across the room from the time he was tiny.  I think I purchased every single one Target had to offer without any luck.

Comfort Object? --At about 14 months he became attached to a giant penguin.  Not the soft blanket scented like his dear mother or the plush dog toy.

Early bedtime= a party at about 3 a.m. because he was awake and ready to go.

Schedule?  Yeah right. On days where he didn't have a schedule he slept better than those where I worked hard to get him down for naps at 10 and 2.  I did eventually figure out that if he took two naps I had to wake him after an hour.  If I let him sleep longer than 2 hours during the day, 3. a.m. party.

Co-sleeping?  Ben's version of an all night party with his mama and dada.

Right now my child is sound asleep.  His afternoon nap is almost over.  A nap that he put himself to sleep for after playing in his crib for a few minutes without nursing.   Tonight he will go to sleep around 9 o'clock after daddy and mommy snuggles, a glass of milk and a few hundred books read and he will stay that way until 8 o'clock.  If he wants to go to bed earlier than that he will show us by snuggling up on he floor without a fuss.  Tomorrow he will take a nap around 1 and sleep for 2 1/2 hours.  The rest of the day he will be happy and full of laughter and Andrew and I will be well rested.  Andrew took an active role in getting Ben to sleep about 5 weeks ago which has helped Ben transition to sleeping through the night without his mom nearby.

For Ben, and dare I say for most babies, reaching the goal of sleeping through the night happens when a child is ready.  For some lucky parents, like a dear friend of mine from Morgantown, it happens when the babies are 6-8 weeks old.  For others it takes a lot longer.  I do think you can help them get there but for some babies, like Ben, it is a milestone they must reach when they are ready.  What I do know is that even though I was sleep deprived for a while I don't regret a single second of snuggling my little guy.  There were some nights I felt crazy (for most of those 3 a.m. parties) but now that he is giving up nursing and another baby is on the way, I cherish the moments he still wants mommy cuddles.
  
If baby #2 is struggling to sleep through the night like Ben did I might enlist Andrew's help a little earlier but perhaps we'll be "lucky" parents and he or she will sleep earlier.  If not, I'll just look back and remember that it will pass, the child will sleep and we will all come out alive.

Ben's New Role

On or around December 31, 2012 Ben will go from being the cutest baby ever to the cutest big brother ever.  He is already showing how helpful he will be by mocking me when I get morning sickness and finding it absolutely hysterical when I actually get sick.  At least he keeps the mood light!  We are all looking forward to our new addition!  (Although we aren't entirely sure what Tessa's reaction will be.)

17 Months--Welcome to Toddlerville

My baby is all grown up!  He is chatting away, running around, climbing on everything and eating with enthusiasm.  Everyday we feel blessed with what a joy he is.  He is truly happy all of the time and makes us laugh daily.

Stats:

Tall and skinny!  He continues to shoot straight up and I feel like he grows daily.  He is solidly in 18 month clothing although his skinny little waist sometimes makes his pants fall down.  (Thank goodness for cloth diapers that help keep his clothes up!)  He just started wearing size 4 shoes.

His head continues to grow to Brautigam proportions and I noticed the other day that his 18-24 month hat left marks on his forehead because it is getting too small.

Teeth:  8-12.  Four on top, four on the bottom and two molars on the top and bottom that are poking through but no all the way out.

Eating:  Solids three times a day, nursing two-three times a day.  Snacks here and there as needed.  He loves butter, bread, peanut butter,avocados, donuts, Parmesan cheese, Gouda, real strawberries, potstickers, smoothies, risotto, ice cream, bananas, blueberries, peas, pizza, etc.  He enjoys drinking milk, juice and water and especially loves orange juice with heavy pulp--just like his parents.

Communication:  He continues to be a little chatterbox and is quite the mimic.  He has some definite words and tries out new sounds and new words every day.  He is getting a lot better at communicating what he wants to us which is a blast.

Sleeping:  I think it is safe to say that Ben sleeps through the night.  In the past month we have had fewer nights with wake-ups than nights he has slept.  A key factor in Ben's sleeping is Andrew.  My dear husband has helped so much with nighttime parenting and Ben has adjusted quickly to not having his mom come to serve the buffet in the middle of the night.  It is wonderful!  Ben naps from 1-3:30, goes to bed around 8:30-9:00 and wakes up between 7:30-8:00.  I don't think he will ever go to bed very early but since he is cheerful all of the time we think his sleep needs are being met.

Favorite Toys:  Ben LOVES trucks.  They are the center of his world.  Truck books, trucks on the street, trucks in the house--if it moves and has wheels it is an object of desire.  He likes to stack his trucks, make them zoom across the floor and even have one in his crib during nap. He loves bikes as well and seeing his daddy's bike is always a fascinating object of delight.  His own little ybike has  seen a lot more use over the past month and he enjoys taking it outside and riding up and down the sidewalk.

He continues to enjoy balls of all sizes and has started throwing and kicking them.  He loves watching his Tessa play fetch and tries to initiate games in the house with her.  He likes his blocks, fisher price barn and animals and anything he can stack.

Books are an important part of Ben's everyday life.  If Andrew is sitting on the floor, Ben will bring him book after book.  He has gone from simply sitting and listening to us read to pointing out things on the pages and trying to say what they are.  We both love reading to him and enjoy watching him get such joy out of pictures and words.  He often looks at books upon waking from his nap or in the morning.  He loves balloons and if he has one he will hold onto it until I pry it out of his finger.

Favorite Things to Do:  Go "bye-bye."  As soon as Ben wakes up and gets his diaper changed he asks to go "bye-bye."  He will drag his stroller to the door, wait on his bike by the door, bring me shoes, put on his hat, etc.  One of his favorite places to go is his grandmom and granddad's house.  He loves to go for walks in the stroller, walks in the baby carrier, trips to the store and the playground.  Recently he's enjoyed time at a friend's pool.  He continues to love to help in the kitchen by watching the mixer, testing out what we are making and stacking pots and pans.  He enjoys helping me vacuum and will follow me around either holding onto the vacuum or pushing his popper toy.  He loves snuggle time in our bed at night before he goes into his crib and in the morning when he wakes up.  Bath time is a highlight, especially if there are bubbles.    He loves to visit his dad and grandparents at work across the street and enjoys banging on his grandmom's office door with his chubby little hand when it is shut.  He initiates games of "peek-a-boo" and enjoys patty-cake.  

Movement:  Ben runs around through life leaning forward as he tries to go super fast.  This month marked the beginning of his career as a climber and he works fast.  In two seconds he can climb on top of the table.  His favorite thing to chase around the house are the dogs.  He continues to love on Chopper every chance he gets and Tessa is increasingly tolerant of him (especially when he has a ball to throw.)

Skills:  He can feed himself with a fork and is working on a spoon.  He tries really hard to drink out of big cups but still ends up really wet.  He can identify his head, ears, eyes, nose, mouth, tongue, belly, toes, fingers, arms, and legs.  He is starting to be diaper aware and will pat his diaper and say "diapa" when it is wet or poopy.  If his diaper bag is nearby and he needs a change he will sometimes bring his changing pad over to me.  He tries really hard to put on his hat and has started trying to put on bibs at mealtimes (this coming from a little boy who HATED bibs a few months ago.)  He likes to "help" me get him dressed and has started grabbing clothes to put on when he gets dressed.  He blows kisses when we are leaving places or when people are leaving our house.

One of our favorite things about Ben right now is his cheerful personality.  He loves to laugh and to try to make his parents laugh.  He is incredibly social and is happy in every situation.  We never worry about taking him places because everywhere we go he is a joy.  We are so blessed to have such an adorable, wonderful little guy and every single day with him is a gift.  

Months 15-16: Communication

Ben is a chatterbox which doesn't come as much of a surprise considering who his parents are.  He has mastered three sounds:  "Mama, dada, and ba."  When he wants something it is "mama."  When something is fun or interesting it is "dada."  If something is round it is a "ball."  He tries to imitate everything we say and typically gets the amount of syllables right.  He can say "apple," "bye-bye," "boo" (book), "eeese" (cheese), "duh" (for all done), "up," "dow" (down), "bubble" (which labels all water) "booboo," (although he really doesn't get what it means) "ha" (hot, head, hat--depending on the context) and a host of other sounds that don't always have a word connection.

He can understand way more than he can say and if we ask him to go to his chair, he will drag a chair into the room.  The other night I told him to get his yellow dump truck and he brought it right over.  This leads me to think he understands the meaning of the word "no" even if he doesn't listen all the time when we tell him.

He can "baa" like a sheep, "ooo" like a cow, "woof" like a dog, "cluck" like a chicken (or bird) and "vroom" like a truck.  He nods his head yes and no, although the nod doesn't always match the request.

Our favorite sounds are by far his squeals of laughter and delight.  He seeks out tickles from his parents and gets a kick out of his silly dogs.

We love watching and hearing him learn how to talk  We are both looking forward to listening to his language really explode over the next few months.

Coming tomorrow...a few of Ben's favorite things.

15-16 months part 1

I'm a horrible blogging mother.  We've been busy the past two months doing toddler things and enjoying family visiting and my time to sit down and blog has decreased.  This week I am going to play catch up and rather than one long post about Ben's growth over the past two months, I will post a snippet each day.

Stats:

At 15.5 months  (officially)...
Height:  33 inches (90th percentile)
Weight: 22 lbs. 4 oz (15th percentile)
Head Circumference: 19 in. (80th percentile)

Our once tubby little guy has slimmed down and grown straight up as he runs through life!

Teeth:  10--four top, four bottom and two top molars are poking through.

Ben is currently enjoying a strawberry snack so today we will look at Ben's relationship with food.

Ben eats with his fingers most of the time, but recently has shown an interest in forks and spoons.  If it is a food he can pick up with a fork he will.  He also really likes his food served on a plate or in a bowl, especially if he sees Andrew and I with plates and bowls.  We give in to the request sometimes but he still likes to throw said plate/bowl onto the floor to watch the food fly so we are on guard.

Ben's feelings about food are very clear.  He either loves it and gives out a delightful "MMM!!!" or hates it and spits it out with disgust.  He enjoys three meals a day and several snacks.  For breakfast he typically likes scrambled eggs with cheese and lately he has enjoyed drinking smoothies.  Occasionally he will eat some Cheerios and fruit but since Andrew and I eat a lot of eggs, Ben joins in.  For lunch and dinner he dines on whatever we are eating with an avocado here and there.  He recently decided that he loves blueberries leading to some colorful waste.  I tried to get him to eat strawberries months ago but it wasn't until I found some fresh strawberries at a local market did he decide that they were an acceptable choice.  (I heartily agree--there is no comparison between a California rubber strawberry and a local juicy berry).

He loves foods with strong flavors such as curry, Parmesan cheese, Mexican rice.  If it is ethnic, Ben will eat it.  For snacks he enjoys organic animal crackers, cheese, Annie's cheddar bunnies, and fruit.  He has a sweet tooth and will eat anything with sugar.  If we are enjoying ice cream he will travel the room for a bite from everyone.  We gave him his first ice cream cone on May 11th, when my parents were in town for a visit and he enjoyed it so much that his little face was red from the cold treat.
He sometimes helps himself to things in the pantry if I forget how tall he is and leave them on a low shelf.

He is still nursing three times a day and we consider that an accomplishment as it is down from 5 or 6 two months ago.  He nurses when he wakes up, before nap and before bed.  If I'm not here when he wakes up in the morning he is fine with drinking "dada milk" which often has a bit of chocolate in it.  My goal for the next month is to cut out the before nap feeding (which if I am not here he is okay going without.)  He loves to nurse and I have enjoyed our extended breastfeeding time.  I never thought that I would go past a year but it has been such a wonderful thing and I don't mind when my busy toddler snuggles up to me and enjoys his snack.  That said however, we would like to be totally finished with nursing by the end of the summer.

I really love my...

Giant Penguin...

A few weeks ago Ben and I were in a store and I was letting him cruise the baby section on his own two feet. He happened upon a giant penguin. He grabbed the penguin, which is wider and almost as tall as he is and pulled it close. He gave it a huge hug and tried to cart it around the store with him. I was amused. Ben doesn't really love stuffed animals and trying to find a comfort object (other than those that are permanently attached to me) has proved impossible. He thought that the giant penguin was perfect. I decided not to purchase the penguin that day and thought I'd try to get him to attach to one of the many stuffed animals already at home.

A few days later I was chatting about Ben's penguin love with my dear friend and running partner, Cat. She mentioned that one of her boys had the very same penguin and thought she would check to see if he would give it to Ben since it was sitting in his closet.

On Sunday she brought the penguin by and Ben is smitten. He carries it around, tackles it to the floor and likes to hold it while we are nursing--my lap is very full!

Baby Stuff...

A couple of my friends are pregnant and as we were talking about baby things I started thinking about the baby gear that I loved and what worked well for us. When I was pregnant with Ben, my dear friend Megan gave me so many helpful tips that I took to heart and am now passing on.

Essential (for us) Gear--

Carseat--our pick: Chicco KeyFit 30

We first purchased a Graco Snugride only to find that it would not fit in the backseat of our Mazda 3. Rather than buying a new car, which we considered, we instead searched for a different seat. I really wanted an infant carrier since Ben was born in the winter and I wanted something I could take in and out of the car easily. The Chicco KeyFit was perfect. Ben used it until he was nine months old. The fabric was easy to wash, the installation a breeze and it comes with removable inserts for when the babies are tiny.

Cloth Diapers--our pick--FuzziBunz One Size

There a about a MILLION choices for cloth diapers. After doing a little bit of research (mostly asking friends what they used) I settled on Fuzzibunz one size. I love that the elastics adjust around the legs giving the diaper a trim fit. We haven't had any trouble with our diapers and though we have the occasional leak, Ben is diaper rash free and has a cute bottom. Other friends have had a lot of success with BumGenius and Rumparoos as well, but I like simplicity so I stuck with the FB and never looked back. We have 26.

Wet Bags:

Not only great for wet cloth diapers but wonderful for dirty clothes, wet swimsuits, etc. We have a couple of wet bags that I stick in the diaper bag whenever we go anywhere.

Stroller--our pick--Bob Revolution

I LOVE this stroller. I wanted this stroller before I even had a baby. It has not disappointed over the past 14 months. My generous friends at work gifted the stroller to us along with the weather shield accessory. I use the stroller for walking and running. We purchased the carseat adapter so I could use it from the time Ben was born. It is a bit big for errands but I am so spoiled by its smooth ride that I haven't purchased a smaller umbrella stroller. If I am going to be in and out of a lot of stores (like at the mall or in shops around town) I just strap Ben in the baby carrier and leave the stroller at home.

Baby Carrier--Our Pick: Beco Butterfly II

Originally I was going to get an Ergo baby carrier, but Andrew saw an add for the Beco when we were in one our final prenatal appointments. After going back and forth from one to the other we settled on the Beco. I love that it has an inner "harness" system so putting Ben on is like putting on a backpack. It came with an infant insert that we used when Ben was less than 15 pounds and took out when he was bigger. It has a sleeping hood to cover his head when he wants to nap. He loves this carrier. It is comfortable on both the front and back and he will use it for many more months to come. I've even nursed with him in the carrier.

Breast Pump--Our Choice: Lansinoh Affinity

Knowing that I only really needed to pump for about ten weeks, I wanted a pump that worked well but didn't feel I needed the top of the line model. Megan recommended this pump after she learned in her breastfeeding class that it has the same motor as the more expensive Ameda. I didn't have a single problem with the pump and used it twice a day. At only around $100 it was truly a bargain. I also only used the storage bottles for Ben's bottles because both Dr. Brown's and Playtex nipples slid easily in the tops.

A Comfy Chair: I am not in love with the chair I have in Ben's room so next baby, I want one that is awesome. For the first weeks I felt like my butt was glued to the chair so having something that is cozy is wonderful.

Spout Cover: Has saved Ben's noggin from many bumps and bruises in the bath.

Fisher-Price Healthy Care Booster Seat

We didn't even bother buying a high chair because we knew we were moving and we didn't want to haul it around. This booster seat has worked great from the time Ben has begun sitting up to eat solids. At around $30 it is a steal and will serve him well as he gets bigger

Vibrating/Bouncy Seat:

This item saved our lives in the early days. We think Ben had a little bit of reflux and the only way he would sleep was sitting up at an angle. We took our bouncy seat everywhere and it received tons of use. When he was tiny and I needed a shower I stuck the chair in the bathroom, strapped Ben in and knew he was safe.

Clothing Essentials for Newborns--Our Top Picks--Side snap t-shirts, zip up sleepers, sleep sacks

Side snap t-shirts-in a baby class we took, the instructor recommended these and in the first few wiggly weeks they were awesome. I didn't worry about using mittens to cover Ben's hands because they were attached to Ben's hands. The t-shirts side snap so they don't have to go over the baby's head and they don't go over the diaper making changes a breeze.

Zip-up sleepers--Carter's brand were our favorites because they wore really well. Ben lived in these during the day for a few weeks as they were so easy to change. I still don't understand why sleepers for newborns have snaps--the babies are so scrunched up!

Sleep Sacs--At night Ben wore a side snap t-shirt and a sleep sack which made nights a lot easier when he pooped for the millionth time.

Non-Essentials but things that were nice to have:

A wipes warmer: It might seem silly and when I first opened one at a shower I wondered if I would use it at all. Having a baby in the middle of winter, I loved my wipes warmer. Once I switched to using flannel reusable wipes, I started storing the solution in the warmer and it stays nice and warm.

Kindle or Ipad: Andrew gave me a Kindle Fire for Christmas and I wish I had it the entire time Ben was alive. It fits in the palm of my hand, I can read while I am nursing and Ben doesn't even notice it is there. In the early weeks of Ben's life when I felt like I was struggling to stay awake it would have been a nice addition to help keep me awake.

I'm sure there are other things I loved and as I think of them I'll add them on!